Lights Will Guide You Home.

It’s been a long time; my heart barely knows what spring means.  Winter lasted so long this time. I tried my best to end it, wanted a shore, a sun and someone beside me healing my shattered heart with tenderness. But winter lasted so long…

Winters don’t stay long; they are visitors, normally, yes! I remember they once described them as visitors, sadly they weren’t. They were more as illness that loves sticking around you, and it never left me.

Cloudy cloudy, it was always cloudy, rain tried to wash the heart, but snow kept on pouring and covered everything, even the street lights weren’t reflected into something real, they were directed to an empty space, and I was lost there fascinated about those fake lights, with people having the same soul, alike faces and different names.

I kept on crying and no one ever noticed. Maybe because I love to cry outdoor under the clouds and they thought it’s only the rain drops on my face, they are so complicated to understand! I cried alone under the rainy clouds with the moon shining once and disappearing behind the clouds twice everyday for years.

I thought my heart wasn’t meant to see a spring, started believing that love wasn’t existed for me, I loved pushing everyone away from me, I made myself believe that. I kept on saying: I don’t need anyone, I’m not that kind of people who love to be attached to anyone anyhow, I just kept saying that, and maybe that’s why spring never came, and my tears never knew any one but me to wipe them away.

Life isn’t always sunny where the sun rises, it’s not always a forest where the river is, it’s not always sleeping when the night falls, and they are not always rain drops on people’s faces.

Lights aren’t stable; they move sometimes, they light a spot upon someone for you to notice. Immediately you are there, a spell takes over.

Everyday is a feast, shiny lights over the world, heart is lit and I’m feeling much, I’m feeling, after all I felt much! I kneel praying, it came! I’ll take this chance, I’ll live it, I’ll be selfish for a while and ignore all the signs and thoughts I had about leaving, I’ll just stay, it’s a feeling, lights weren’t lit for waste  and you haven’t came for nothing. I’ll stay, I’ll stay.

Gasps increase even when sitting, thinking never gave me a break, this feeling is a loud voice in an empty room.

I pray, I pray I would find an answer, a solution! Great GOD show me something, give me a sign, I’ll follow it, tell me what to do and I’ll do it, I promise you I’ll do it, just show me something, show me something.

Not everyone we desire walks on feet, they sometimes have got wings, they fly. We often see things in deep, we don’t look at someone but we look through them, what their eyes say, what they reflect, the person hiding inside, we see that once the light is there, it’s beautiful!

Lights will guide the heart where home is, I chose to stay in my spot doing nothing, I’ll wait an answer, I hope it comes quick, I’m afraid, this spot light is getting bigger and my heart is so small to be noticed in it. I’ll wait for an answer, and whether someone came or not, I hope I’ll be there where that shore is, and I’ll be happy with a soft wave listening to me under a shiny Sun.